by alessio saitta (prikedelik@katamail.com) ©1996
dear sir,
we would like to inform you that is totally
useless to pretend to do nothing. the fact itself that you are
reading this letter means that somebody did care to send it to
you. and this individual will, sooner or later, look for you:
you can count on that. so, it is totally useless to pretend to
do nothing: how shall i explain this to you?
look, these are the facts: your debt towards us -- or our credit
towards you, wichever way you may put it -- now amounts to:
1 new lung
2 kidneys, new too
1 right big toe, rigenerated
for a total, at the current date and including interests, of 15,000,000
liras.
well, what now?
we have decided to offer you the last accomodation, and i emphasize
the word "last":
1) exchange your original heart ('course only in case of acceptable
conformity to the conditions taken at the latest visit we have
recorded) with a sony model dated 1991, for an amount of 6,000,000
liras.
2) give up your tonsils and spleen (always under the conditions
of the l.v., see above) for 1,000,000 liras.
3) exchange one eye (at your choice) with a panasonic model dated
1989, same color, for an amount of 3,000,000 liras.
4) give up the "first choice" prerogative upon your
daughter ornella`s organs, who we understand is now in coma since
dec. 31, 1998, caused by a shock wave trauma.
considering the brain might not be reusable, we feel that 5,000,000
liras is not only a favor, but a special price too. in fact, just
because we wish to help you in such a harsh situation, we offer
you to achieve the amount of 15,000,000 (6+1+3+5), corresponding
exactly to the balance of your debt.
think about it. you have two weeks to decide. after then, we will
send your file to the organ recovery office (o.r.o).
law is law.
best regards.
